Queen of Leftovers

March 7, 2015 Babe 0 Comments

Yesterday evening and this (mid) morning I salvaged three egg whites (from cake baking) and some potatoes. Dinner was a DIY tuna croquette (canned tuna, potatoes, milk and Tabasco, dipped in egg whites), brunch was an egg white tuna omelette (egg whites still going strong, tuna from opened can, Tabasco, black sesame). Nigella even inspired me to save six tragic bananas on a week night as am now somewhat a proper wife and can find some eggs, butter, flour etc. lying around.

I cannot bear to waste to the point of…well, just look at the contents of my fridge. When I’m steering the culinary ship, I never do the gourmet thing. I leave that to Useless Husband, his fancy knives and measuring jugs. He would stand tall in a beautiful kitchen with his beautiful hands bent over artisanal chopping boards and salad bowls. I’m the squat scrounger of opportunities-opened packets of coconut milk and green curry, bits of onions/garlic-it was only later I discovered the magic of fresh lemon grass and kaffir leaves. As we speak, I’m getting a little excited about finding a tailor that can take down a few of my man’s old shirts-still in good condition, decades of wear ahead. I PRIDE my smug little self on being able to tell tales of clothes I’ve had since I was in university, my greatest triumph being two skirts I could have sworn I had when I was 12 (one has incriminating photos to prove it.)

This was supposed to be a food post teeming with dodgy recipes for very dodgy leftovers but it got me thinking about the way I look at my motley possessions. I would wait eons before taking something new out the bag, much less wear/use it. Many a fraying yellowing shirts, bags and shoes are a testament to this obsession/fear/irrationality. I actually had a much (too) treasured bag disintegrate before my very eyes at its first outing, prompting a bemused waiter to ask what the flecks of white (faux leather) particles were on the floor. Defeated you may think-I actually had the bag stripped and re-upholstered with two tones and texture of Cambodian silk, and a matching purse to go!

I envied Useless Husband when he takes a new shirt out of the bag and wears it almost straight away or treats his rather nice loafers with a healthy sense of utilitarian disinterest (i.e. soaked in the rain). He laughed and bullied me into finally removing the silly plastic protective strip over my then new Smartphone (that was an improvement-took me two years to finally get the plastic stuff off my laptop). Before this becomes a six page thesis on a self diagnosed exaggerated psychosis (please excuse the erroneous use of psychiatric terms), I guess I’m just a hoarder with a phobia of wearing things out. A metaphor for my life? Maybe I’m just not good with growing up/old.  But if anything, the big 40 has got me taking the carpe diem  approach to living, acquiring more stuff I cannot bear to wear, dreaming of the NEXT grand design, because I’m just not there yet.

Or am I? Is this as good as it gets? Has it always been as good as it got for the time? Maybe that’s not even the point. Maybe it’s just time to wear the St. Tropez trousers I ve been saving for well, St. Tropez?  Just to love your things and accept that they won’t stick around forever, wear over time, stain, get damaged during the move. Material mortality…that’s hard. But if that’s hard, what about real mortality?

I’m just not going to think about it now, especially on Saturday. I’m going to find a dress I haven’t worn, take it out, contemplate wearing it and maybe…

P.S: Toaster oven series may be temporarily suspended due to problems with said appliance.

P.P.S: Update October 2015 re unecessarily large and grainy photo- I have just worn this piece this 6 months after purchase….progress!