Yes, today IS my birthday so…

December 16, 2014 Babe 2 Comments

…I can do as I f***ing please, thank you very much…

Birthdays…

You either love them or hate them but you can’t escape them. They’re everywhere! It’s like a disease! There’s always someone somewhere having one, non-stop, and suddenly, there we are, congratulating one another around the clock for what, really? For nothing but being.

The most important thing about one’s own birthday is that – if one plays it smart – one can amass material wealth which is called presents. But strategy is in order: mass advertising one’s own birthday (social media) while pretending one is hardly aware of the upcoming event (“I really should delete my personal data on Facebook, so embarrassing!”) The most effective strategy – bodily presence of one’s own person – should be used sparsely and only with the wealthiest target friends. How does this translate in my case today?

Not very well, for here I am, away and abroad, with my useless husband who’s strategy of amassing wealth consists of buying fake Crocks instead of real ones. And true enough, he hasn’t got me any expensive present yet. But he claims he’s got a cunning plan.